Skip to main content

Tough times don't last. Tough people do.

Christmas Eve 8 years ago I created this blog with the description "Tough Times Don't Last, Tough People Do" and when signing into this blog for the first time in 3 years I'm overwhelmed with emotion. It's crazy to have written proof of my journey, written proof of my yearning for hope from such a young age, and most importantly proof of my strength. I say that this past year of my life has been the hardest I have yet to experience, but I can honestly say that I think every year has been hard, and each year moving forward will just match that. I just believe I've reached a different level of awareness now, I've been on a journey for self-love, courage, and strength from the minute my heart beat into this crazy world. I've struggled with my identity for a long time, but this I know to be true. I am tough, and I am determined, and I will fight every single day to make it to the next. 

Now, at 23 I am making the vow always live my truth, trust openly, and love unconditionally with my heart facing out. To honor this journey of vulnerability and self-love I want to bring this blog to life again. Inspired by my current book"The Gifts of Inspiration" by Brene Brown, the raw and vulnerable blog written by my sister, and my fifteen year old self; I will be using this blog to heal and challenge myself, as well as advocate for vulnerability in our World. 

My first instinct is to delete my thoughts from my 15-year old self because I'm terrified of not being the always happy girl anymore, I've always been strongly reinforced for my optimism and happiness so that's been my safe place to stay. I do believe I am an optimistic person, but that's been my only answer for a lot of years, and now I'm discovering other answers. Other ways to be strong. That is always going to be a part of me, but the vulnerable parts are important to show as well. Anyway, I'm terrified to let it out, but that's the point of this whole thing isn't it? Being gentle to myself ALWAYS. At every age. So, I am taking a deep breath..... and then another, and then not pressing delete. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Orange Reminder

12/25/09 The orange ring lays against fragile skin. A constant reminder of the pain and sorrow...also a memory of endurance and gain. 30 beads each with different meaning..circles the wrist while never ending. The hurt and denial expressed with each glance, anxiety and guilt overwhelm when its gone. without those orange beads meaning is lost, and emptiness fills.
Post a Comment
Read more

The Hills Have Eyes & Mountain Lions

Though I am someone that majorly enjoys spending time outside alone, I also was haunted by some really irrational anxieties and fears. Solo camping: something I wanted to be able to do for years, and once I started doing it I would just torture my brain with images of Hills Have Eyes.. you know this one...  I was sure they were hiding in the woods around me waiting to rape and murder me. Also hiking: Wikipedia tells me that 20 people have died in North America due to mountain lions in the past 121 years and I've been CONVINCED over the past 3 years that I would be that 21st person. I was paralyzed by this fear. This was beyond frustrating to my stubborn soul. There were multiple hikes that resulted in me exiting the mountain early before getting to my goal due to the intense (made-up) fear circling through my body. Don't get me wrong, mountain lions are very real, and attacks are 100% possible. But I am a firm believer that fear shouldn't hold you back from doing what m...
Post a Comment
Read more

A Pair of Spray Painted Feet

We met through Steve and Peter. From the very beginning I knew I loved him. I knew he was going to be my best friend. The first time I cried in front of him sealed the deal. He knew almost everything about me. He knew my scars, my flaws, my triumphs, he knew me better than I let most. Summer 2013 was an unforgettable one. Not necessarily in a cheerful sort of way, but better than I always remember.He got me through that summer, as well as another. He stood by me while I constantly slipped on and off the curb. Supporting me, yet warning me about the swallowing pits through which I was treading. Spring 2014. You're gone and I feel regret. I wasn't the friend you were to me the past 4 months and I should have been by your side shining the light for your way. Kyle- Thank you for everything you've helped me be. For everything you've carried me through. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you this past semester, I regret every second. You are such an incredible person a...
Post a Comment
Read more