A New Partner, a Lover

find the new beginnings

the smell of snow and rain
the energy of the moon during transition
that fly that lands on your knee in the opening of spring

find it in nature
you belong there
walk into the canyon arms
you are an old friend
the mother I never had and the father I know too well.
a new partner, a lover

when the leaves fall and the birds sing
on that first silent snowfall, with the moon swinging above
in the disarray of the stars
and in the trunks that hold the canopy up

find your hope
search for it in every smell, sight, and feeling
believe in it, cling to it, wrap your limbs around it
and never let it go.

Comments

My Day With The Sun

You're the first thing I saw when I woke up this morning. Basically jumping up to the hope and excitement you had scheduled for me today. I practiced patience with you. My skin was kissed by your lips. I was fueled by a deep connection under your gaze, a connection to the human souls around me, while sinking into your soul. It's been a solar day. A day to embrace light, willpower, optimism. While still appreciating and noticing Luna and the power of stillness, and embracing my aloneness. I drove 5 hours with your face shining into mine, cursing the bumper to bumper traffic. While also feeling encouraged by your beauty. I got home and faceplanted in my bed, exhausted by the heat. the driving, the human filled highways. Then almost immediately found myself craving you, missing you, needing you. So I said goodnight to you on a walk, said thank you as you dove behind the foothills. Thanked you for the day of connection, hope, and awe. Thank you.

The Orange Reminder

12/25/09 The orange ring lays against fragile skin. A constant reminder of the pain and sorrow...also a memory of endurance and gain. 30 beads each with different meaning..circles the wrist while never ending. The hurt and denial expressed with each glance, anxiety and guilt overwhelm when its gone. without those orange beads meaning is lost, and emptiness fills.

The Hills Have Eyes & Mountain Lions

Though I am someone that majorly enjoys spending time outside alone, I also was haunted by some really irrational anxieties and fears. Solo camping: something I wanted to be able to do for years, and once I started doing it I would just torture my brain with images of Hills Have Eyes.. you know this one... I was sure they were hiding in the woods around me waiting to rape and murder me. Also hiking: Wikipedia tells me that 20 people have died in North America due to mountain lions in the past 121 years and I've been CONVINCED over the past 3 years that I would be that 21st person. I was paralyzed by this fear. This was beyond frustrating to my stubborn soul. There were multiple hikes that resulted in me exiting the mountain early before getting to my goal due to the intense (made-up) fear circling through my body. Don't get me wrong, mountain lions are very real, and attacks are 100% possible. But I am a firm believer that fear shouldn't hold you back from doing what m...

Be Gentle With Yourself

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