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The Hills Have Eyes & Mountain Lions


Though I am someone that majorly enjoys spending time outside alone, I also was haunted by some really irrational anxieties and fears. Solo camping: something I wanted to be able to do for years, and once I started doing it I would just torture my brain with images of Hills Have Eyes.. you know this one... Image result for hills have eyesI was sure they were hiding in the woods around me waiting to rape and murder me.
Also hiking: Wikipedia tells me that 20 people have died in North America due to mountain lions in the past 121 years and I've been CONVINCED over the past 3 years that I would be that 21st person. I was paralyzed by this fear. This was beyond frustrating to my stubborn soul. There were multiple hikes that resulted in me exiting the mountain early before getting to my goal due to the intense (made-up) fear circling through my body. Don't get me wrong, mountain lions are very real, and attacks are 100% possible. But I am a firm believer that fear shouldn't hold you back from doing what makes you come alive, as long as you are prepared. I've spent 3 years trying to battle these fears, sometimes winning and sometimes losing. But it still always being in my mind and oftentimes "ruining" my goal of remaining present while hiking.
Well yesterday while hiking back from Horsetooth Rock in the dark the dog I was hiking with ran after something, and I just thought "damn, I hope that's not a mountain lion" and immediately realized that I think I have conquered my fear. No gut wrenching anxiety hit me, no racing thoughts of the possibilities, no delusions of transforming beautiful trees into a man eating monster. This. Feeling. Was. Amazing!
I don't think I've ever noticed a fear, been patient and worked through it, and then seen the end result. It was a beautiful process. I spent a lot of time being really frustrated with myself, angry that something I knew I was making up in my head stopped me from doing something I truly loved. My parents specifically dealt a lot with my fear and frustration. I know with the solo-camping they didn't fully understand why I wanted to do it anyway, and honestly would prefer I don't camp or hike alone, but have continued to cheer me on.
I believe it is extremely important to be aware of your surroundings, carry pepper or bear spray, stay updated on mountain lion sightings, and just be smart. But if hiking makes you come alive, don't let another fellow wanderer in the mountains hold you back.

Fear is an evolutionary tool for human beings, but in 2017 when there are less survival fears we need to be aware of (and probably more political ones to be focused on) we can face these with a determined and patient heart. Trust yourself, and know that if you want to move through a fear. YOU CAN DO IT.
Peace, love, and hope to you all.
Sarah




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